Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Nothing is constant but change

An odd week. My grandfather passed way, and that was alright. His funeral services are today, which would've been his 90th birthday. I'd say that's a good span of time for mortality. My thoughts are mostly on my Mom, and her siblings as they make it through an emotionally arduous day. I'm hoping she will do alright without having any of her six kids there - Canada is just too far away in the middle of the school year, and the middle of the work week. She has Dad.

My eyes are aching again, which leads to some near-migraine headaches. I feel like I'm in a bit of a medicinal fog when I take the antihistamines and pain killers, but I've got to get relief. I wonder if Lasik (getting rid of my contacts since I developed an allergic condition to some component of the lens make-up) would really be the answer, or if its just something in the Texas air ... anyway, I'm glad for Zyrtec.

Here's my musing for today. I've heard other people talk about an aching gap, or unfillable hole that everyone carries in their souls. In the past I've attributed it to divine discontent; we miss being in heaven, where we came from. Mortality can't fill that up. We don't know (or perhaps "remember" is a better term) the specifics of what we left behind, but, we're always searching for more, for better, or for different, for our lives. What will make us feel content or complete, or perhaps, just sustainably happy? Or, sometimes we give up searching, and just put ourselves on auto-pilot, and accept the ache. Some of my dearest are aching right now. I'm praying for heavenly help for them, and to know if I can help fill the gap in some small mortal way.

But right now, I need a quick nap. Dentist appts for kids this afternoon, Pinewood Derby tomorrow night, and vacuuming and laundry to boot.