Lisa's Life & Dansie Doings

The crack of the summertime whip

2011-06-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

The pace in our home changes dramatically with the end of the school year - I'm no longer opening curtains and turning off fans, trying to lure my sleepy kids out of bed at 6:40 AM. There's no (barely) underlying frantic "hurry-hurry" mode for breakfast, teeth-brushing, bed-making and lunch packing, in order to get out the door by 7:30 AM. My nearly 3-year old daughter is allowed to sleep until she wants to - school pick-ups no longer require her to be yanked from peaceful afternoon napdom. Ballet and piano recitals are complete, and soccer season is over.

Everyone together now ... aaaaahhhhhhh! It's a zen moment.

Scout camp, swim lessons, neighborhood Kidz Kamp, and other outings lay before us. The challenge is, the hours inbetween - keeping them from turning into an un-ending marathon of Looney Tunes and other kiddie TV fare. We have daily chores, school bridge booklets, the YMCA, the library, and the community pool. We have a house full of Legos, puzzles, books, and toys, toys, toys. Still, I often feel like the ancient Egyptian taskmaster, cracking my whip and directing children (with the requisite foreboding glare) to "turn off the TV/computer/Wii", and do something. I've occasionally "suggested" that if they're that disinterested with their toys, that we pack them up and take them to the United Way donation truck (that often elicits a quick response). North Texas is just not a family-friendly place in the summer as far as the great outdoors are concerned.

To their notable credit, my children do get along, in spite of the reverse cabin fever of a Texas summer. Sometimes they play all together, sometimes they split off into random pairs, sometimes they seek a little solitude. The "big three" (agest 11, 9, and nearly 7) are very patient with their all-too-evidently terrible-2-year old sister. Still, I count my blessings - no teenage angst (yet), no slammed doors with "keep out" signs. Don't get me wrong! There is definitely dissent from time to time, and regular eye-rolling (try picking out music in the minivan that pleases all ages! Musical Mission Impossible! We rotate between Raffi, Harry Potter soundtracks, Backyardigans, Madagascar, Little Mermaid, Hap Palmer, classical ...)

One week of precious summer vacation has already come and gone - soon enough we'll be trolling the aisles of Walmart and Target for school supplies, new school shoes, and uniforms. I need to remember that though they are not necessarily easy days, these are nonetheless, days to embrace.

Blessings in disguise

2011-04-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

This will be very short - school pick-up is in about 10 minutes.

I've decided to tack on to my last entry, but on the tangent of blessings in disguise. For instance. our ward RS is ending their monthly activity (a progressive e.g. travelling one) at our home tomorrow night. They'll gather here to eat desserts and chat before calling it a night.

This disguised blessings has prompted me to do some deep cleaning that I was in denial of (oh say, steam-cleaning carpets that have dirt & water marks from playing in the snow ... 3 months ago), re-arranging the decorations in my living room (Kirsten taught me to "shop my house", rather than spend more money), and begin the purging of junka-lunka that must be completed before the kids come home for summer. Somewhere along the way in running errands, I found a steal of a deal on a new comforter set for our master bedroom - I will confess we have the same set we received for our wedding 14 years ago. Oh the things we let slide ...

This disguised blessing repeats itself in varying forms whenever company is coming to stay from out-of-state, or when I host an event (bridal shower, etc). I am always thankful, for it truly kills two or more birds with the one proverbial stone, and leaves my home much more orderly, peaceful and clean.

On a side note, that deserves a big note, I think birthdays are blessings in disguise. Because of my friend Karin's birthday last week, I got to spend an awesome evening out with 10 gal pals that I just do not get to see enough of. Thanks for being the undercover agent and pulling off a superb surprise Girls Night Out, Michelle!

And for my last note, this blessing isn't so much a disguised one, as a sometimes forgotten one. I love the New Testament, particularly the original 4 gospels. I just finished re-reading Matthew through John - always the best pick-me-up and centering thing out there, to read the testimony of the original apostles, and read the words of Christ.

Name them one by one ...

2011-01-14T11:10:00.000-08:00

I was feeling pretty blue this morning when I woke up - too much to do, too little time, wah wah, woe is me. As I drove about on errands during the morning, I found my eyes directed to observe the plight of others, and realize how blessed I am, how thankful they would be for many blessings I take for granted. So, I'm a'countin'!

1. A heated car with a full tank of gas. I can go where I want/need to, when I want/need to, in comfort, and with music even.
2. My kids' minds and bodies are healthy and whole.
3. Health insurance - we have great doctors (and nurses who know us!) who almost always can squeeze us in when we need them. We may have a co-pay & deductible, but it's small potatoes compared to a full bill.
4. 24-hour pharmacies.
5. Kind drivers who let me into their lane rather than gunning it to block me out.
6. Mr. Mullini standing in the freezing cold to direct drop-off traffic at our school, all week long! He always has a kind smile for every child who walks by.
7. A washer and dryer in my house - I don't have to tote my laundry to a laundromat, or scrounge quarters, or tote a 2-year old with me. I get to stay in the comfort of my house, and do dozens of other tasks just waiting on the beeps and buzzers that tell me its time to to rotate or fold!
8. The computer and internet. Yesterday and today I searched for recipes, worked on church projects, got in touch with family, paid bills, worked on our tax return, wrote in my journal, weighed in on a city council issue, correlated with my Primary presidency, and heard snippets from the lives of dozens of friends. All in a matter of hours, all from my nice comfy leather office chair in my living room. Crazy amazing when you take 2 steps back and remember this didn't exist not so long ago.
9. Ross Dress-4-Less. This is the only way I can keep my family dressed in good quality, durable clothes on a single income budget ($70 jeans for $13! wahoo!)
10. General Conference report. Love, love, love my conference report. Nothing lifts my spirits and my perspective faster.
11. My husband. He is patient, helpful, kind, observant, diligent, willing, funny, and full of hope and faith. These are the attributes of true love.
12. Warm beds and hot showers. It's been frigid all week.

That's it for now. There's much, much more - including some of the obvious answers - but this is what stuck with me today.

Jen the Goddess

2010-06-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

I found out two days ago that one of my friends from Provo days passed away from a rare, aggressive form of neuroendocrine cancer. She lived only one month after her diagnosis. I haven't been in touch with Jen except for an email or two and a few brief "pings" on Facebook, since I was married in 1997. Her father sent out a group message on Facebook about Jen's passing. I was stunned, and so sad for her family to lose Jen at such a young age (Jen is a few years younger than me).

I found it baffling when we did connect, that Jen hadn't been snatched up and married. Every guy in our BYU ward would have fallen over themselves if she batted her lashed at them (a few of them did, when she did). We called her "Jen the Goddess" because she had the most amazing head of long, curly hair, and a dancer's figure - perhaps more importantly, Jen had a smile and a laugh that drew all ears and eyes to her. If she turned on the wattage, it was game over. She was truly spontaneous and vivacious - those words get thrown around alot, but they truly fit Jen. I think this was another reason the guys were drawn to her. She wasn't self-concious, so she was always truly enjoying herself and "all in" no matter what the outing entailed. She didn't worry, analyze, overthink, or fuss. Looking back, I think I wanted to be more like Jen because of those attributes, than because of her hair or her figure.

Jen came from a little more "money" than most of us, yet she was always generous. She had lots of clothes in her closet that still had tags on them, but she'd dress us up in them in a heartbeat for a special night out or a date. Jen was kind; I truly don't remember her ever being mean-spirited to anyone.

From what few connections we've had in the last 13 years, I've gathered that Jen remained single but went on to have a highly-successful career, making trails of friends with every office and city move she made. She was living in NYC when she passed; I imagine she wore that town out with her adventurous, life-embracing spirit and energy.

I am sorry that she is gone, but I know where she is. I am so glad that on Saturday in Fresno, her family is having a "Celebration of Jen's Life", rather than calling it a funeral (they are LDS). For truly, she lived a great one.

Oy vey!

2010-02-16T14:55:00.000-08:00

We are Mormon, not Jewish, but this phrase is heard around our home all the time. It is a Yiddish exclamation of frustration or dismay, that literally means, "Oh, woe", but in our home it more closely aligns with "you've got to be kidding me". I don't know if Seinfeld could be to blame ...

Anyhoo, it quite captures the tenor of our home the last 3 months+, particularly since I was asked to serve in our stake Primary presidency. The pace hasn't been blistering, but it's a little nuts, even with me trying to avert my eyes from the Cub Scout elephant in the proverbial room. Three ward conferences, one new leader training, one general board training, 5 presidency meetings, one stake council ... and this has been during a period of relative downtime for my Scoutmaster husband. Every change brings with it a new normal, and we're still getting the hang of it.

Our 17-month old toddler Sabrina is no longer a walking baby, but a little girl, teeny pigtails and all. She is a charmer, with a curveball pout that she uses regularly to get her way and her wants. We adore her, in spite of some spectacularly cranky evening episdoes. She doesn't say many words yet: ca-ca (cookie), Da-da, ma-ma, ow-sy (outside), no (very well), and she will say ee-aw if you say donkey. She actually does a good little handful of animal sounds.

Emma was baptized in December. It was a lovely evening for us, spiritually. I wrote a big journal entry on it. Imagine that! Journalling instead of blogging :)

We are in the midst of special school projects: Emma was Abraham Lincoln in her 2nd grade presidential wax museum yesterday (they "come to life" when they are approached and tell about themselves). Harrison is doing a diorama for "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" Book 1, and no doubt science fair will follow shortly thereafter for both of them (joy!). And then, suddenly, the school year will be winding down, and we'll be eyeing our summer plans ... April and May always seem to fly. Whereas, January seems eternal sometimes.

I keep going to the gym. And going, and going. I work hard, and I'm always glad I went and pushed it. I will be 40 years old in just over 2 months. It doesn't freak me out; age never really has. But I'd like to be getting it together, rather than coming apart, for my 40th. A work in progress, still!

We got a Wii for Christmas; it is a novelty, and the only game system that I remotely approved of. The kids have been more apt to get their requisite chores done in order to have their turns on it after school. Still, overall, I'm not quite sure it lives up to the hype. I still wish that my kids' first instinct was to run out and play rather than run for the controllers. A different age, right?

Well, I need to get going on our taco salad dinner. Life is good - just a little exasperating and exhausting ... and overly chilly. I think I'm actually ready for spring this year.

Sure. Why not?

2009-09-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

This small simple phrase can get you into loads of trouble. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

On better, happier (and obviously, clearer) notes, we are on the cusp of fall. Not that we experience anything close to the much-envied crunchy piles of leaves, brisk evening air, blazing trees of color that I long for (sigh), but the holidays still come to Texas, even if it is our "second spring".

Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas ... October, November, December, my favorite months of the year. I am an anticipation junkie, so it is fun to have so much to look forward to, especially while the kids are young and so excited about it, too. The kids are pretty well decided on their costumes for this year.

I just finished reading "Catching Fire", the sequel to "The Hunger Games". Love, love, love these books.

And that's it for me for today. A few random thoughts. But I do random, oh so well.

I'm sleeping with the Scout Master

2009-08-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

Well, he is my husband, so it's all legal. I just had to make a headline out of it, because it looks hilariously scandalous in print.

Chris has just taken off to Six Flags with Harrison (who earned a free day pass from his school for a scholastic achievement). It is going to be 100 degrees today, but I think they'll still make the most of it. I am interested to hear what rides they venture on.

I will be taking Christian and Emma to a nearby bounce house for a few hours. Sabrina will come too, but she won't be running and jumping herself silly. It is worth the $$ to have a change of scenery, and to have them worn-out at the day's end.

We are having Christian's b-day party on Monday - a backyard water fun (sprinklers, water guns, water bombs, etc.) party. We invited 7 little friends. I still need to get goody bag fillers and some snack foods. I may make cupcakes this year to save some money. There is a HUGE party store nearby, that I need to explore to see if they have cupcake toppers - its amazing what the grocery store bakeries charge for those little pieces of plastic!

Harrison will be celebrating by taking 3 friends to a Fort Worth Cats game on Friday the 21st - our local minor league baseball team. There are fireworks at the end of the game. Chris will be the chaperone for the evening, and will probably be smuggling in some treats for the boys. Emma will get to tag along, too, since she has been promised a baseball game before summer's over.

We are within days of hitting many "year" marks - a year since we moved, and a year since we welcomed Sabrina to our family. I am amazed - and thankful - that we've made it. A year ago, it was so daunting to think of managing a school year, a new home, a new ward, and a new baby's needs, yet here we are. We were definitely blessed - many tender mercies all along the way.

I am looking forward to school starting. Harrison and Emma are definitely ready to be back among friends and peers, and to be busy. They've begrudged the pages of summer bridging schoolwork I've had them do each weekday morning, but they'll be glad when they're sharp and ready to roll. Harrison has been taking piano lessons this summer and is doing well (grumbling all the way, but nonetheless progessing).

Christian will also return to his 2-day a week preschool. He is only there from 9AM - noon, but we can opt to leave him until 2:30 for a small extra fee. They have a great little curriculum, but when I ask Christian what the best part of his preschool days were, he inevitably says, "playing outside". Honest!

I am looking forward to returning to my gym. It is easier to be regular without all the kids to keep happy, and the ladies in my daycare love Sabrina. I am going to try to train to complete a Thanksgiving Day 5K/10K here in Fort Worth. http://www.fwtrot.org/

Our babysitter is slowly growing out of babysitting - she's hit the magical age of 16, and her life is getting full of many great activities. Our kids adore her - she's been sitting for us for 3 years! We've been through this transition before with another beloved sitter, so we know we need to scan our options for a new babysitter to "cultivate", who will hopefully be around for a few years. Now that we have 4 kids, it is a challenging assignment (we probably need to pay more, too!). We try to leave on dates either during Sabrina's nap, or after her bedtime at night, so that the babysitter really only has 3 for most of her time. By next year, when Sabrina is nearly 2, she will be much less "needy".

That's it. Nothing momentous. But that's sometimes a very good sign.

Saturday, is indeed, a special day

2009-07-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am simultaneously roasting chicken for casseroles, washing dishing, sterilizing baby cups, doing laudry, clearing drains, boiling water to mop the floor, and finalizing a meal plan for the week (this rarely happens) and drafting a grocery shopping list. It must be Saturday!!!

I am thankful for the many, many appliances that make it seem like I have 5 pairs of hands, and for running hot water ... and a sleeping little toddler, and my super husband who is doing all the driving and cheering at Emma and Harrison's basketball games today.

I think there is nothing better for the soul than to be peacefully productive. The last two weekends have been more of a full-out sprint (for good things that had to be done). Today is a better, more balanced pace. Ah yes! Sharing time plans still need tweaking, but they're pretty well done. I'm glad to be back in Primary. It is my cup of tea, at the moment.

We are looking forward to going on a double-date, mid-week, with the Murphys to see HP6 (Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince). We have seen the last few Harry Potter movies with them - it has become a little tradition. We are all readers of the books, so it is fun to chat afterwards over a later dinner or dessert at a restaurant. In fact, I reread the book earlier this summer, so I had my head on straight for the storyline. I got completely lost during "Order of the Phoenix" because it had been so long since I'd read it.

The next two weeks are brimming with activities. Harrison and Emma start a second 2-week round of swimming lessons, and Christian will be in a part-time 2-week summer camp (space-themed! He is so excited about it!) at his nearby preschool. We also have Harrison's piano lessons, my presidency meetings and various dr. appts.

In August, all scheduled activities (except piano) are overwith. Lots of free swim at our YMCA and our community pool is all that's on the agenda. Of course, there is the small issue of TWO birthday parties for our two boys. Harrison is turning 10, and we think the age of big at-home parties has ended for him. Last year's outing to the movies (Star Wars Clone Wars) with 7 friends went perfectly, but I don't think there are any terribly relevant movies that we could tie into. Maybe bowling or something.

Sabrina is on the verge of being moved upstairs into Emma's room - we will then officially have the "boys room" and the "girls room". Emma will be delighted. She has wanted Sabrina with her from the day we brought Sabrina home from the hospital. We will probably use all of August to get Sabrina in a good sleeping pattern in her new space before school start (and sleep becomes a premium for everyone).

Got to run - the appliances are all beeping or blaring at me!

Each day a blessing

2009-06-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

This won't be long ... the laundry needs folding, we have groceries to snag (with all 4 kids in tow since school is out) before dinner guests come tonight, and, gee, I need a shower somewhere in that too.

The events of the last week have made me grateful for the most basic things of life. My friend Wendi, who is only one year older than me, had a stroke last week Sunday. She is our ward's Primary president, and mother to a 5-year old, and a near 3-year old. She is also a teacher, wife, and all-around gem. My friend Kirsten and I went together to see Wendi at the hospital Wednesday night. To see someone you truly know, incapacitated like that, is life-altering. It took me about a full day to wrap my mind around the full impact this is having on her individually, her marriage and her family. And then I wept and wept for her. The prognosis is very hopeful, but to think about how frightening it would be to have your speech, your mobility, your physical agency suddenly taken; to think of not being able to hug, squeeze or talk to your kids; to not be able to tell anyone what your full thoughts or feelings, or even to tell your husband how to pay this week's bills; not to be able to swallow food without help, change channels, go to the bathroom, turn out the lights, anything!

We - and many others - prayed and fasted for Wendi and her family this weekend. She is a very strong person, in all respects. She will come out conqueror from this.

Her circumstances have made me thankful. Thankful that I can roll out of bed in the morning and brush my own teeth and take a shower. Thankful that I can rotate the laundry, mop the floor and change Sabrina's diapers. Thankful to talk to my sweet husband, hold a book and read it, put gas in my car and drive it. Thankful to be able to watch over my kids, go to the library, EVERYTHING! My mind and my body work! So do my children's and my husband's! What an immense daily miracle.

You don't need the details, but we know that our little Sabrina experienced a miracle of protection this weekend. We are so thankful. I cannot imagine life without her.

Nothing is constant but change

2009-03-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

An odd week. My grandfather passed way, and that was alright. His funeral services are today, which would've been his 90th birthday. I'd say that's a good span of time for mortality. My thoughts are mostly on my Mom, and her siblings as they make it through an emotionally arduous day. I'm hoping she will do alright without having any of her six kids there - Canada is just too far away in the middle of the school year, and the middle of the work week. She has Dad.

My eyes are aching again, which leads to some near-migraine headaches. I feel like I'm in a bit of a medicinal fog when I take the antihistamines and pain killers, but I've got to get relief. I wonder if Lasik (getting rid of my contacts since I developed an allergic condition to some component of the lens make-up) would really be the answer, or if its just something in the Texas air ... anyway, I'm glad for Zyrtec.

Here's my musing for today. I've heard other people talk about an aching gap, or unfillable hole that everyone carries in their souls. In the past I've attributed it to divine discontent; we miss being in heaven, where we came from. Mortality can't fill that up. We don't know (or perhaps "remember" is a better term) the specifics of what we left behind, but, we're always searching for more, for better, or for different, for our lives. What will make us feel content or complete, or perhaps, just sustainably happy? Or, sometimes we give up searching, and just put ourselves on auto-pilot, and accept the ache. Some of my dearest are aching right now. I'm praying for heavenly help for them, and to know if I can help fill the gap in some small mortal way.

But right now, I need a quick nap. Dentist appts for kids this afternoon, Pinewood Derby tomorrow night, and vacuuming and laundry to boot.

Thanksgiving @ Grandma's house

2008-11-24T12:34:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving week. I may even becoming more fond of it than Christmas week. I love the fall colors, and seeing the leaves dance down the street in the wind. It is a season thick with nostalgia for me. This year, even moreso. It is the first year that there won't be an enormous gathering of Walker relatives at 519 B Street for Thanksgiving dinner. More importantly, my Grandma, Beth Walker, won't be at 519 B Street for Thanksgiving. She has popped in and out of my thoughts the last two weeks. The closing hymn last week Sunday was "Love at Home"; I was singing my solid alto, but as we began the last verse, I suddenly remembered singing this with all my grown cousins at her funeral in February. Tears filled my eyes and I had to stop singing - not out of sadness, but just missing her, and remembering the potent spirit that was a part of her funeral services. Today, driving home from Target, my 4-year old son Christian pipes up from the back of van, "Mom, you know what? We haven't seen Grandma Beth in a long, long time". This came from completely out of the blue. I asked him, "Christian, do you remember that Grandma Beth is in heaven now?". He answered, "Yes. I remember we visited her and she gave us balloons to play with" (he was two, which makes this all the more remarkable). It was a sweet moment; of course, it makes me wonder where his little 4-year old mind was traipsing about to be thinking of her, too. She was an amazing matriarch of the family. How we miss her, especially this week.

Day One

2008-11-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

I often envy college students about this time of year - a semester is wrapping up, and there is an "end" in sight. Sure, it comes with harried finals weeks and cramming, but each time they walk out of a final, there is that rush of "finito!". For good or bad, they're done with that class. And then, when they walk out of their last final, the finito is compounded with freedom, often accompanied by a 3-week break, holidays at home, late nights and sleeping in. But more than those things, I envy the promise of a new beginning that will come with a new semester. New subjects, new teachers, and a chance to start fresh. If you were a slacker last semester, you can make a complete turn-around and become an ace student, akin to a scholastic rebirth. You can move into a new apartment complex, a new student ward, and have new roommates, new friends. Complete clean slate of life.

Adult life does not offer many options for fresh starts, a la a new semester, but events of two months ago came pretty close. A move, a new home, a new ward, a new baby (I guess that qualifies as one new roommate), a new school year for my kids ... however, our fresh start package didn't include the 3-week break, holidays and sleeping in. But the late nights did come with the baby.

So, here's my Day One blogging, following in the cyber footsteps of my two sisters, a sister-in-law, and some good friends. Here's a toast to fresh starts, the possiblity of positive change, and as my kids would say, "to paying guests!".